The Challenge Double Agents: A Speedy Recovery
Sincerest apologies for missing episode 2 and 3 recap <3
Happy MTV Wednesday!
Xoxo, Your Most Inconsistent Yeehaw Meg
It’s another Challenge Double Agents Day and with it, a speedy catch up on the last two weeks. Seeing as how the holiday season took me out of Episode three’s premiere, I’ve made a swift and speedy return to come back and say: holy shit what the fuck was that last episode!?!?!
The Challenge Double Agents: Dive Another Day Recap
Kyle’s incompetent stance here makes me physically nauseous.
Let’s go back about three weeks, shall we? From the premiere of this season, we have learned that Double Agents is unlike any other game in the past thirty six seasons of the Challenge. In this season, people pick who their partner will be, an extreme twist on past pair ups made by TJ Lavin. Side note? I just remembered I had a sex dream with TJ Lavin and it fucking ruled. Anyways, in episode two, we realize the full extent of what this season will mean in terms of deception.
Following on the heels of Ashley’s elimination, Natalie decides to stay with Wes, an error itself given how much the house hates him. CT now has no partner and apologizes to Kam on not realizing what absolute fucking power comes with Killa Kam. Kyle jokingly lets CT know that hey, if he ever wants Nany, she is his for the taking. Nobody likes Nany and I’m happy the people on the show are finally figuring this out the way we all had to over the excruciating ten seasons she’s been on. I would be so much better off having never been introduced to Nany in my lifetime.
The plot laid the episode prior is that Joseph will be a bit of a handful. Coming from America’s Got Talent, we see this guy is the kind of freshman who’s a little too excited to be invited to a senior person’s party in high school. He falls asleep at the club and eagerly does different jumping jacks and crunches on the floor, something Leeroy rebuffs with a silent “weak ass.” As this unfolds, Lolo, the gold medal olympian, flirts with her partner Nam and begs Jesus give her strength not to hook up with him. On the flip side, I am over here begging Jesus to watch someone get spare cummies on at least one reality TV franchise I am binging.
No Cummies on the Bachelor yet this season :/
This week’s challenge is called “Ice Spy.” The teams have to jump into the freezing glacier water of Iceland and swim to a boat that houses a block of ice they then swim back to shore with. Inside the ice is a “kill” (red cylinder) to sabotage another team with. Once they’ve successfully brought their ice block back to shore, they have to break it with an ice pick and place their kill in another team’s station, which contains three kill slots. Once the station is full, the team is out. CT is out of the competition this season because he is a rogue agent.
Fessy and Aneesa win because, for some reason, everyone has decided they are the ones to fear most? They’re left with no kills in their station and are, once again, the winners of this week’s challenge. Joseph is all in for going into the crater and decides to randomly have beef with Wes, letting everyone know he wants to go against him in elimination. Ah yes, another rookie teaming up against Wes. We’ve seen this before but every time, it makes for good TV. Meanwhile, Fessy tells Cory he will only go in if it is a physical elimination.
Deliberation comes and it’s time for the house to decide what will happen. Important note! Fessy wants to throw both Wes and Devin in there because getting rid of one essentially means the other will follow fast. They are the only two in the house who like one another so this is a perfect plan to execute. Meanwhile, Kyle promises Fessy he will vote for Wes, not knowing Fessy can see, as a winner, who people will vote for. As the house deliberates, Fessy and Aneesa take off to collect nominations and announce who will be going in. Much to Fessy’s surprise, Kyle voted in Joseph.
Here is where my entire house gets really pissed off at Fessy. As they go into the Crater, there is a wide open pit with a ring on the ground. In elimination, there can typically only be two types of games: endurance or puzzles. This whole time Fessy has been saying he wants an endurance competition, either hall brawl or the classic “who can let go of the stick first” contest and now, when he’s facing what is CLEARLY a physical challenge, he chickens out. Kyle is confident he will not go in and Fessy votes him in. Enraged, Kyle goes down to the pit, kicks Joseph’s ass, and turns to face the people in the house leaving all cards on the table. Screaming at Fessy, he calls him out for what we were all thinking. I don’t remember the words exactly, but it went something along the lines of “you fucking dumbass this is clearly an endurance competition and you probably lost your chance at a red skull so kiss the finale goodbye?”
In another quick switch up, Kyle says fuck it and steals Kam from Josh and Josh is stuck with Nany as his partner, something my viewing party is all thankful for because we both hate Josh and Nany to the finest degree. Fingers crossed they both go home.
Once again, Kyle has proven to be a fan fave. Ever since the season Cara Marie one where he made it to the final four eating only Burger King smoking cigarettes, I have been a huge stan for Kyle.
Which brings us to….
The Challenge Double Agents: Enemy of the State
As soon as everyone is back home from the Crater, Kyle goes in on Fessy, repeatedly calling him a Pussy until partner Kam tells him to cool it. Here the house learns that Fessy and Aneesa are able to see who votes who in following each challenge, a piece of new information the house eats up accordingly. Cory, as daddy of the house, tells Fessy he’s upset he didn’t tell him about being able to see who votes who. Fessy, in typical Meg response, tells Cory he doesn’t care which begs the question, are they friends? Does Fessy have his walls up? Has he been hurt, too?
I can fix you, Fessy.
It’s challenge week and this one is another “Contestants Ride on Big Truck” one. We’ve had the cars running into big foam cylinders they’ve stood on in the past. We’ve had rock climbing and puzzle making on the side of a honking big semi. This one, however, is the first one I’ve genuinely felt stress watching. Titled “Road Kill,” the competition centers around both teams trying their best to push their opponent off a semi truck moving 50 mph. The catch? NONE OF THEM ARE WEARING HARNESSES. Sure, they’re pushing each other into a net on the side of the truck, but are you kidding? They’re NOT WEARING HARNESSES! What if they fall? What if they die? Jesus Christ. I hate it here.
Anyways, Nicole and Devin go up against Kam and Kyle and Nicole dislocates her shoulder. Bad luck, considering last time she went home in the finale off a rolled ankle. Following shortly after, Tori flips Liv off the truck in a way that hurts her arm, resulting in a hospital visit for Liv. Overall, Leroy and Kaycee knock their opponents off fastest and win the challenge. This is exciting for my friends and I, considering Leeroy barely ever wins and at the end of the day, we just want what’s best for him. I also think this is his last season so Leeroy, if you’re out there reading this, I really hope you win, buddy.
Everyone heads home and Devin is nervous considering his partner Nicole is gone. Liv returns and lets her friends Big T, Gaby, and Amber B. know that Tori isn’t as strong as she thought she was, despite the fact she’s literally waiting on X-Ray results to see if Tori fractured her arm. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, we finally get our kitchen argument over something innocuous regarding food. In the Bunker last season, it resulted in yogurt being thrown at the fridge. This one centers around pizza and whether Kaycee is making the oven dirty or taking too long to cook it or something. CT hovers over her screaming (bad!) then later goes outside to smoke a cigarette. Confronted by Josh barefoot in the rain (romantic!) Josh reveals CT made Kaycee cry and should go apologize. Apparently, CT didn’t make Kaycee cry and Josh is just trying to start shit.
Literally writing all this out feels like an episode from my hometown high school and I will stop at that summary because this is traumatizing. Moving on.
Devin chimes in because hey, why not? My mans loves drama. “Big Brother sucks!” He yells and Josh, provoked, starts fighting him held back by the will of Kaycee, Jay, and Fessy. Devin doesn’t help the matter by asking Josh to do basic math equations while Whitney Houston’s “So Emotional” plays in the background. All in all, it’s a top ten Challenge battle royal for me.
Deliberation is an over stimulated blood bath. With everyone yelling over each other, Devin drops the bomb that everyone should vote for Cory and Tori, sealing his fate in the Crater. Most of the house votes for him and Wes tries to strike a deal with Leeroy to not get thrown in despite the fact he is clearly going to be thrown in. Kaycee and Leeroy vote for Wes despite his begging. It’s apparent Kam had a big hand in Leeroy’s decision after saying “look at the big picture.” Leeroy, I love you bud, but you’re pretty easy to walk over.
Wes gets voted down and seems to have given up already by the time he reaches the pit. The two go up against each other in a tug-of-war sort of game. Attached to opposite ends of a rope, they race through a series of posts in a zagzag and hit a red button to win. The rope isn’t long enough for both of them to reach the button at the same time, so one (Devin) will stay ahead of the other (Wes) basically the entire time. Devin beats Wes and here is where my heartbeat picks up. In a moment of absolute fuck it, similar to Kyle, DEVIN PICKS TORI! These two ABSOLUTELY hate each other but obviously, Tori is an incredible pick to help someone get ahead in the game. I cannot wait to watch this bomb set off.
TJ reminds everyone there are only SEVEN GOLD SKULLS LEFT!!!!! Seven! Fuck me up!!!!! It’s going to get spicy in here and I hope someone (Josh) gets killed (Nany????)