NOW PLAYING: Teen Wolf
While walking in the woods one night Scott encounters a creature, is bitten in the side, and his life is forever changed.
Gorgeous Now Playing Hive Rise Up! We stumble yet again in to another week of living Hell (Life) when the weather changes and Yeehaw Meg (Me) gets cranky!!!! I’m fucking pissed!!!!! In actuality, I’m depressed today, but I got through it by watching the baseball scene in Twilight seven times and I’m on the come up! I’m feeling better!
I hope everyone else’s week is going more spectacular than mine!
Fall is always a hard time because my mood (I’m bipolar. No, really). fluctuates GREATLY when November sneaks upon us and I can only really get by day to day if that. I finished a great book today by Ashley Audrain called The Push though and it’s been my saving grace the past five days. I blitzed through this book. If you’re looking for a haunting mystery, I highly recommend.
Anyways, I am just type type typin’ away. I started a Now Playing Twitter that I am horrible at keeping up with but if you want to throw me a follow, I WILL follow back. I’m only asking people legitimately in to this newsletter because I refuse to pester my friends to follow another Twitter between that, my personal one, and my podcast Twitter. Did you see how I hyperlinked each? I’m a marketing God amongst men.
This is the only one I’ll make ya’ll follow, tho (I’ll follow back!!!!) https://twitter.com/NOW_PLAYING_MEG
That’s a wrap on intro, now let’s get to the show.
I wanted to do Ted Lasso this week but who the fuck has Apple TV+ straight up. It feels like an incredibly straight show I’d love to learn to be well versed in so I can pass as a dick sucking cis but I refuse to start a free subscription on any platform after unknowingly paying for the Criterion channel for almost a year. That shit ruined my bank account. So this week I picked:
Teen Wolf
It’s bold of me to start the hour long beauty that is Teen Wolf at 10 PM on a Monday but I’m feeling adventurous. For those of you who don’t know, Teen Wolf (I’m not covering the Michael J. Fox one IDGAF and anyways it’s a movie so) is an American Supernatural teen drama show loosely based on the 1985 movie of the same name. Premiering June 5, 2011 I watched this show religiously with my best friend down the street Molly in her basement throughout all of college. This show was an absolute beacon, a buoy in a wild world. Following high school student Scott McCall, who becomes a werewolf after being bit by an alpha werewolf, Scott deals with his new life as a creature of the night defending the town he loves while developing close feelings for new classmate Allison over the course of the series.
This show’s got it all: supernatural, spooky, Dylan O’ Brien. BOY did I fuck with it during it’s time. I keep trying to get my girlfriend to rewatch it with me but NO DICE MAN!!!!
Everyone DM my girlfriend RIGHT THIS SECOND and tell her to WATCH TEEN WOLF WITH ME!!!!
I truly can’t believe they tried to make Scott the main guy when Stiles existed tbh.
We get a, you guessed it, sweeping shot of dusk settled trees to start this series off. Beacon Hill’s cops are on the scene of the crime at the edge of the woods with their sniffer buddies the German Shepherd brigade. At home, Scott McCall is stringing his lacrosse stick unbothered about the turmoil happening at the corner of town. Why should he?! He’s not a werewolf yet. Let him enjoy his little life doing pull up’s in his bedroom to some early 2010’s rocker music. He hears a creak outside and goes out with a baseball bat because he’s spooked. His friend Stiles (<3) pops out of nowhere and says his police father found two bodies in the woods and they’re bringing in police officers in adjoining districts to help look. They only found half of one of the bodies and Stiles is super excited about this. He’s like “we gotta go check it out. You’re always bitching nothing ever happens in this town” and they head out to the woods with one flashlight.
Scott complains about how he has lacrosse tomorrow, Stiles does not care.
Scott is like alright Stiles what if the murderer is still out here and Stiles is taking everything in jest, be still my heart. Scott’s got asthma and he goes to breathe in a big huff as Stiles tries to evade the police officers flash lights running far ahead of Scott. Scott calls for him but Stiles has been found by his dad, who’s frustrated his son is out in the woods putting himself in danger. Scott hides behind a tree to avoid getting caught and Stiles covers for him, saying he’s at home sleeping. His dad doesn’t believe this and sweeps his flashlight over the terrain but he finds nothing. His dad gives the whole “this is an invasion of privacy” speech and walks Stiles back to his car and unfortunately for Scott, he is alone now in the woods. He pulls his hoodie over his head but that’s not going to help you buddy! You are out here, alone, with a killer on the loose.
Bet your asthma’s acting up now huh.
Scott is squinting his eyes looking off in to the distance when a bunch of deer run over him like that scene in Lion King and knock his inhaler out of his hand. He somehow fucking survives not getting trampled to death and turns his phone flash light on to look for his inhaler. He finds half of the dead body instead and accidentally rolls down a cliff from the shock of it. Our boy Scott is really in trouble now because he’s got a problem breathing and probably has a bit of a concussion. Off in the distance, a black furry creature sees him with yellow piercing eyes and jumps on our guy attacking him. He runs out in to the street and almost gets hit by a car before rolling his hoodie up to reveal a bite mark.
Fellas, let me tell you: that’s not going to bode well later on.
When you think about it, all women are werewolves in their own way. A lot of their periods sink up with the full moon and werewolves also change and have anger management issues once a month??? Kind of nuts. I almost wrote once a week because I haven’t gotten my period since 2015 and truly don’t remember how the female body works. Nonbinary bliss is having an IUD so you can cosplay not being a girl but also not being a boy.
Women, werewolves, full moons. They’re all powerful ladies to me #ally
At beacon Hills High School the next day, Scott bikes to school with his lacrosse stick on his back as Jackson drives up next to him, the resident bully of the school. God, I fucking love Colton Hayes. What a gay icon. He’s got a really fancy car and tells Scott to watch out for his car next time before skulking off. Stiles meets up with Scott and he tells him a wolf bit him and Stiles is like hmmm, no. There’s no wolves in California. Scott is like alright if you’re gonna gaslight me I’m not going to tell you about the body but Stiles isn’t paying attention because Lydia Martin just walked by and he is obsessed with her despite her not noticing. Scott and Stiles are “nerds” in this social order which would never be true.
Stiles is too charming to be a nerd.
The teacher said yeah there’s some people dead but the police have someone in custody so don’t worry. Study the syllabus. A phone starts going off and Scott can hear the phone despite not being in class. It’s coming from OUTSIDE (super hearing) and he sees new student Allison talking about how her family just moved here from San Francisco. She walks in to the classroom and Scott rests his beady little eyes on Allison, giving her a pen.
He then proceeds to stalk her around the school. Not before Lydia picks her up, though. Lydia says I love your jacket, you’re my new best friend. Jackson comes up and makes out with Lydia and invites Allison to this weekend party put on by the lacrosse team. Lacrosse is really big at this school and they’re the popular people, not football. They’ve won the state championship for the past three years because Jackson is team captain.
Scott overhears this entire conversation, which ends with Jackson inviting Allison to watch their practice. Scott says “I’m not sitting out this season, I’m going to make first string” and Stiles is like WELL WHO’S GOING TO BE ON BENCH WITH ME?! A valid question. Coach puts Scott in goal to make a joke of him and he overhears Allison ask Lydia who he is to which, she says “no idea.” Scott gets hit in the fact once but he’s ready this time and catches the ball in goal. The team is shocked and Stiles cheers. Coach isn’t used to this athleticism from him and stands mouth ajar. He isn’t letting anything by and Jackson steps up to take him on. Time slows down as he throws a shot at Scott, who catches it with ease. Stiles cheers and so does Lydia.
He’s super excited to talk to Stiles after practice.
He tells Stiles he can smell things and hear things he shouldn’t be able to see or hear- like Mojito gum in Stiles pocket. He’s like I don’t have- wait- ah, yes I do have Mojito gum in my pocket. Scott is saying I’ve been infected since I was bitten and Stiles is like I think I’ve heard of something like this. Are you a werewolf? And Scott is like quit joking and Stiles is like ayyyy ok but if you are! You better take precautions because Friday is a full moon! My little wolf boy, my little wolfie boyfriend. Derek, a fellow werewolf, stands behind them unannounced and is like what are you doing here? Scott says he was looking for his inhaler and Derek throws it at him before walking off. Stiles says you don’t remember him? His family burned in a house like ten years ago. Scott, meanwhile, takes off his bloody patch from where he was bit and finds it completely healed. At the Cat clinic he works at, the cats all fucking hate him and are hissing nonstop at him. Confused, he closes the door at the same time a disgruntled Allison bangs on the front of the office to let her in.
It’s been raining too! You know what that means! Queue: Meet Cute
Allison crying about a dog she hit on the highway and is like can you help her!? Please? She’s in the trunk. The dog is barking like a maniac and he’s like let me and gets down to the dog’s eye level and his eyes turn yellow. His intense stare chills the dog out and they go inside. He says the dogs leg is broken and he can put it in a splint, our multi-talented man. He gives Allison a t shirt and she undresses while he looks from the other room before peeking away. Allison is like I’m so sorry I freaked out like a girly girl. I’m not a girly girl. I’m a tough girl. I’m Katniss Everdeen tough. You haven’t even seen my winter combat boots yet and my side braid. I like interesting shows like Breaking Bad and not reality television.
Scott’s like woah ok you don’t gotta put on an act I also would cry if I hit a dog with my car.
They laugh and bond over their internalized misogyny and the status of the dog is that it’s going to live. Scott says pet her, she’ll like you now and Allison gives in. He’s like “see? She likes you” and stares really intensely at Allison, swiping an eyelash from her cheek. He walks her to her car and asks if it’s really family night on Friday. If it’s a lie, would she like to go to the party with him and she says yes :) Family night is a lie :) I’d love to go to the party with you on the night of the full moon.
CONFLICT INTRODUCED
Scott wakes up shirtless in the middle of the woods and is confused as shit. It’s morning and he’s in a little hole with no clothes outside of his shorts. He hears a branch snap and looks around to see the same beast that bit him running alongside the mist. He takes off running and jumps in to a pool to avoid the werewolf. It is some rich guys backyard and he is baffled to see a teenager jumping fences swimming around.
Scott is getting ready for the Lacrosse scrimmage the next day when Jackson confronts him asking “where do you get all your juice? There’s no way in hell you’re out there kicking ass on the field like that without steroids?” Scott does some of the worst acting I’ve ever seen where it looks like he’s chewing gravel saying he’s also freaking out because he woke up three miles in the woods this morning and has no idea what’s happening. Jackson doesn’t buy it and says he’s going to figure out his deal before leaving to go get on the field. Stiles tells Scott they found animal fibers on the body of the dead girl and Scott runs away because he’s got a game to play. Stiles is freaking out though because it was wolf hair but Scott’s got no time!!! He’s gotta do this scrimmage! He’s gotta make first string!
The coach is laying pressure on too saying they’re basically useless if they don’t make the cut.
Tyler plays a forward position but gets his ass handed to him by Jackson. They’re head to head and Scott pulls out some incredible moves before scoring on the other team. Literally no one can stop him. Coach calls him over and says what the hell was that? Incredible. You’re starting buddy. You made first line.
Back at home, Stiles googles werewolf nonstop to try to figure out if his hunch is right and also looks up a silver bullet because fuck it, Scott’s friendship means nothing. He’ll kill him if he’s gotta, I guess. I’m laughing so hard at the fact he’s googling silver. He immediately went “no answer, just kill.” I love the idea that there’s no remedy, not even a thought his friend can be saved, and he’s just gotta kill him, I guess. Stiles is relatable as fuck because he says he took a lot of adderall and has been reading a ton which, me all of college if you count “reading” as “listening to the same Tom Jones song for five hours thinking I was God.” Apparently, wolves howl because they signal to each other that they’re nearby so there’s probably a ton of them in the area. Stiles said what you did was amazing on the field today but it was impossible. People can’t just do that overnight. Scott is like let’s talk tomorrow and Stiles is like what? No. Tomorrow’s the full moon. Scott has a date though and a party so he doesn’t have time!!! Stiles says he’s going to kill tomorrow if he doesn’t figure it out. Stiles tries to grab his phone and cancel the date but Scott gets really mad and goes to punch him and now the vibes are off. Energy is ruined. Stiles breathes heavily and Scott makes some half assed apology. Stiles picks up the chair Scott knocked over and notices claw marks!!!!
This is a great advertisement for Adderall making you a genius.
Scott is shirtless (barf) getting out of the shower and runs in to his mom. She’s so excited he’s going to a date and a party and gives him the car keys. She’s like we don’t have to have the talk, do we? And he’s like about sex? No. Never. They have a tiff and he gets the keys and Allison looks good for the year 2011. She’s wearing a white button up, jeans, and a black blazer. Gay. At the party, a dog barks at Scott and Derek notices this. He is also at the party before disappearing. Scott shakes this off and goes and dances with Allison. They’re pulling each other close, being pretty handsy, when Scott makes eye contact with Lydia from across the party getting felt up by Jackson. Scott tightens his grip on Allison as some primal urge overtakes him and she asks if he’s okay. He’s like I gotta take a breather for a second and we get go pro style camera as he sweats his ass off trying to find some place to pass out. He walks out of the party with Allison chasing him and takes off down the street in his car. Derek comes up behind her to be like hi Allison, I’m a friend of Scott’s. My name’s Derek. We get the sense MTV is trying to dress him up as a villain at this moment but that’s not the case.
He’s trying to help the situation.
Scott sits in the bath tub with water running over him battling a wicked headache. The music is going fucking crazy as he looks at his ugly gray hands grow nails. Checking himself out in the mirror, he notices his eyes are yellow and his teeth are fangs. Stiles comes to check in on him and is trying to get in but Scott says you need to make sure Allison is ok. Stiles says Scott, Derek drove Allison from the party.
Scott’s gone full blown werewolf mode and he is tracking Derek down.
Jumping out his two story window, Scott dramatically lands in a puddle of water and tilts his head to the sky, full blown wolf mode. He’s an ugly little fucker when he looks like a werewolf but I guess there’s no way to make a huge, hairy animal sexy. I’m very anti-Big Foot. He takes off to the woods as Stiles chases down Allison at her home in his car. Mrs. Argent comes to the door and Stiles tries his best to save face being like “ah, I’m being crazy but uh it’s about your daughter uh,” and she calls Allison to the door. It’s a classic bait and switch moment. Allison is fine.
Scott realizes this and looks around and Derek says “she’s safe from you.” Derek says be quiet, wait. Too late. They’re here. It’s a team of hunters and the hunter is Allison’s dad. Uh oh. We don’t know this yet but I’m pretty sure the brigade leading this is Allison’s dad. Scott gets an arrow in his arm and dad’s comrades roll down a hill as Derek and Scott take off, narrowly escaping. Derek explains to Scott there are hunters who have been hunting them for centuries. Scott blames Derek for this happening to him and Derek’s like the bite is a gift, you should be grateful. Plus, you’re going to need me if you want to control it. We’re brothers now.
Scott crumples to the ground holding his arm.
The next day Scott walks home because despite being brothers, Derek refuses to give him a ride. He straight up said “you wait out the night and figure out how to get home without any clothes but your Levi jeans on.” These hoes aren’t loyal. Damn. Stiles has to pick him up on the side of the road wobbling home like some feeble child and Stiles says you better come up with an apology for Allison or you could just tell her the truth, that you’re a werewolf. Stiles says he’ll be there for Scott, they can chain him up and he’ll watch over him. It’s a very touching moment and is proceeded by Allison being upset that Scott left the party and is being vague now. He says can you just trust me? And she’s like hmm.. Am I going to regret this? And he says probably. Do I still get a second chance? And she forgives him so fast. Wow, to be 18 and desperate for love. The plight of teenage romance.
Her dad comes to pick her up and Scott notices it’s the LEAD HUNTER FROM THE CREW!!! DRAMA!!!! A LOVE THAT CANNOT BE!!!
Overall, I’m going to give the pilot a 5.5/10. The rush of this series coming out every week and how good it was accounts for a lot of the hype around Teen Wolf in my opinion but nowadays, the pilot wouldn’t hold a candle to the shit coming out. It was definitely one of a kind for it’s time, with the only other pseudo spooky-supernatural rival being American Horror Story, but it didn’t get really inventive until the second/third season when they introduced a ton of different supernatural stuff. Shit really picked up, then.
It’s definitely an interesting pilot that’s sexy, fun, and ooze charisma (in part, because of Dylan O’ Brien) but I was kind of under impressed. I don’t know if it needed more or less of what it was already working with but the structure seemed like nothing happened despite a lot being established. Maybe I’m biased towards vampires and don’t find werewolves interesting or maybe it’s that they didn’t make anything about it appealing to an audience instead, establishing a teen show alongside a supernatural world without much tying the two together. I could give it a 6 purely out of nostalgia reasons but I’m going to go with my gut here.
And my gut is saying Tyler Posey’s acting absolutely tanked Teen Wolf’s credibility. :(