This NOW PLAYING comes a day late without my email header because I am writing this on my mother’s CATHOLIC SCHOOL LAPTOP (Hi Principal Bartlett if you monitor this) and don’t have access to the Now Playing header! That’s on my personal laptop which I left at home because I am a huge dummy who consistently fucks up!
Yes, if you’re wondering, I am back in Cedar Rapids, Iowa this week bumbling about for a myriad of reasons. I’m aimless! I’m depressed! I am at the beck and call of whatever my family needs from me at any given moment because those two adjectives are typically all they ever expect of me.
Damn Meg. You’re getting a bit TOO deep in the intro. You ok?
In honor of one of my favorite shows Never Have I Ever coming back this past week (DO NOT SPOIL THE NEW SEASON FOR ME) I’m going to be covering the pilot as a sort of #tbt nostalgia type thing. Never Have I Ever premiered in 2020 at the turn of the pandemic to a myriad of praise for it’s depiction of a first-generation Indian American teen dealing with grief, popularity, and all things in between. Created by Mindy Kaling, the series follows Devi as she navigates sophomore year alongside her best friends. Drawing the attention of hot Paxton and intelligent Ben Gross, Devi’s life becomes messy while she processes the death of her father. It’s funny, touching, and incredibly sad at times.
It’s also one of theeeee best depictions of mental health I’ve seen in a hot minute.
Never Have I Ever deserves an endless amount of hype at least, on my end, on how it approaches trauma. Devi’s dad dying really fucks her up and instead of lying down and letting grief wash over her in waves, it comes in really violent, really angry riptides, consuming Devi until there’s nothing left but her and the beast controlling her. As someone who’s mental illness manifests in chaotic outbursts, whether that be pushing many loved one’s away through borderline insane behavior (maxxing dad’s credit card after the Trump vote (sry)) or shutting potential friends down, I’ve had my fair share of being on every end of the spectrum when it comes to insanity. For at least a few hours during the time I’ve spent losing my mind, Never Have I Ever was there to show another person pushing everyone away as a means of punishment as well.
Probably my favorite piece of criticism on the show is this one from my previous editor Evette that I highly recommend you all read.
15-year-old Devi Vishwakumar is praying to a shrine of assorted Hindu Gods with Geometry book laying out talking about her first day of school. It’s Sophomore year and Devi is trying to make up amends for her freshman year by being invited to a party with alcohol and drugs, having her arm hair thin out, and getting a boyfriend this year. She asks the God’s for help with this, especially the boyfriend thing. Aiming high for a “boyfriend who can rock her all night long,” John McEnroe is the narrator of this series.
That’s right: fucking John McEnroe. Angry, tennis boy we love and adore.
Her story starts when her parents Nalini and Mohan moved to the United States in September 2001. She loved her dad but things became complicated when Mohan had a heart attack at her spring concert festival. He ends up dying and a week later, Devi’s legs stop working, landing her in a wheel chair. Luckily, her two best friends Fabiola Torres and Eleanor Wong were by her side throughout this entire tragedy alongside Paxton Hall-Yoshida, the hottest guy at Sherman Oaks High. In fact, though she’s never talked to him, he’s the reason she can stand again. Seeing him playing football with his friends across the parking lot one day, she stood up to get a better look at his face and magically was cured.
All in Freshman year her dad died at a school function and she became paralyzed. Safe to say she’s hoping to turn this year around.
Pumped up, Dancing on my Own Plays as the Title Sequence hits the screen.
Her mother is on her ass about getting to school and Devi’s cousin Kamala gives her a lunch on her way out. Kamala moved in after Devi’s father Mohan passed to finish her PhD at CalTech. She’s pretty and smart so Devi’s obviously jealous of her, asking her mom immediately when she’s in the car how long Kamala is going to be living with them.
Too bad for her she’s gonna be there a while!
When she gets to Sherman Oaks, everyone is looking at her. Immediately linking up with Fabiola and Eleanor, she breaks the news to them that they’re not cool and need to do something to be popular this year. In fact, Devi has a plan this year to rebrand, saying Fabiola should dress differently to show off her curves and Eleanor needs to chill out on spontaneous singing. Devi says if they won’t change the next step is moving on to boyfriends:
Cue the entire conflict for the ongoing series: Ben or Paxton.
Devi tells them hey, we’re going to get attainable boyfriends this year don’t worry. Fabiola’s gonna go out with Alex Gomez despite him being a foot shorter than her and Eleanor will date Boriz Kozlov, the Russian exchange student eating a RAW ONION. Devi, meanwhile, will be going for Jonah Sharpe despite Jonah being gay. Technically, he’s not out yet and he’s popular so it’s the perfect shot for Devi to springboard off of into popularity heaven.
Personally, I think that’s a full proof plan.
We’re introduced to Ben Gross who’s backstory includes calling Devi, Eleanor, and Fabiola’s friend group the UN, yikes! I didn’t know Gross started off racist I just thought he lovingly teased Devi cuz he had a crush on her, WOOF! He says Devi being in a wheelchair is “psychosymptomatic” according to his dad because he obviously is threatened by the fact she’s smarter than him. This is evident by them constantly competing in the debate club they’re in, a montage of 1st grade on showing them winning first and second place respectively. This class is Facing History and Ourselves and you’ll never believe who’s in her class with her:
Paxton.
“Damn” she says as he sits down in front of her, re-enrolled in this class after failing it his sophomore year. The actor who plays Paxton, I will note, is thirty years old and definitely doesn’t look like a high schooler when playing one in this show. She tries talking to him after class but the teacher calls Devi and Ben back in to try to distill the conflict between them, since Devi gets violent when she’s mad and beat by Ben. They agree but take their tension out into the hall where Ben makes fun of Devi flirting with Jonah driving home the UN thing again which apparently doesn’t mean United Nations, it means Unfuckable Nerds.
Rich coming from a guy named BEN GROSS.
At therapy, Devi is mad about Ben’s comment and asks her therapist if she things she’s bangable to which her therapist is like: I’m not going to tell you you’re sexy I’m just going to say that kid sucks and you should ignore him. The therapist tries focusing on the good things like how she’s back up on her feet and not paralyzed anymore. Her therapist is like “I think I have something that would help you: a grief journal” to which Devi says “if this doesn’t work you could always prescribe me Klonopin.”
Same girl.
At dinner, she tells her mom that her first day was okay at school but Ben Gross was still a dick today. Her mom savagely calls him 5’2 and then moves on to telling Kamala that her parents found her a match for marriage. His name is Prashant, he’s an engineer, but she’s not very excited about it. Devi is upset Kamala got a “husband in the mail” and she can’t even trick a gay guy to going to fast food with her and takes her meal up to her room, cueing a dream sequence where she remembers a night watching John McEnroe with her dad. She starts crying asking her dad if she’s ugly, indicating this is a moment she potentially is currently imaging more than anything. Her father tells her to fight back with her spirit and stand up for herself, hugging her as she wonders out loud what he’s doing here considering he died.
She wakes up as sad music plays.
The next morning, Devi serves up a hot look at school the next day. Wearing a short skirt and high heels, Fabiola says she looks like an Indian Kardashian. Fabiola says she’s wearing her best polo and Eleanor is dressed up as a 1920’s flapper girl. The plan is? Get the boyfriends locked and loaded.
Devi trips on her way to class.
Putting a big band aid over her bleeding knee, she asks Jonah if he’ll come over and gets in to an argument with Ben, which ends on him insisting his dad is hot. The teacher interrupts them to say they need to mend their present and both Ben and Devi snap back, getting them sent to the principal’s office. She says they’ll both report there after school to do unpaid labor because they’re in trouble. Ben said he can’t because he has to go cheer on his girlfriend at field hockey and the Principal lays into them about how she’ll call every Ivy and say they shouldn’t be admitted.
They start moving boxes of paper as punishment in to the computer room when Devi finds Eleanor kissing Oliver Martinez.
Eleanor admits they’re dating in secret because drama club would be up in arms if they knew a techie was dating an actor. Eleanor apologizes and says she didn’t want to upset Devi but yes, Fabiola knows. Clearly Devi is upset about this, shutting the door to scream outside and stomp home. Slamming open the door and throwing her shoes off, she storms upstairs feeling betrayed by her best friends. She puts on sweats and throws her Geometry book through the glass window, an angry episode spurred on by John McEnroe’s narrating. As her mom storms in to her room after the huge crash, she interrogates her on what happened to the window. Devi responds a bird flew in to it but her mom is quick to catch the Geometry book now sprawled out on their front lawn.
Overwhelmed, Devi storms out and runs down the street to her therapist Dr. Ryan’s office.
Unfortunately for Devi, Dr. Ryan has a date but concedes to helping Devi because she’s clearly in distress. She says her friends don’t trust her not to have a nervous breakdown and she hates not feeling like a normal girl who’s not called mean names. Dr. Ryan says having a boyfriend won’t make her happier or change who she is so maybe she should focus on the things she can succeed at this year that would make her feel good about herself. Thinking hard, Devi says she knows what she should do and skips out of the office. Pacing up and down outside of school, she sees Paxton walk out after practice and introduces herself to him, boldly saying she’s into him before going on a rant about how he should have sex with her.
Walking away ashamed, she turns around when he says “yeah, okay. I’m down.”
They shake hands as she goes home to write in her grief journal: “I’m gonna have sex with Paxton.”
Overall, I’ve got to give the Never Have I Ever pilot an 8/10. It’s so damn endearing and I truly have no complaints. It sets up a perfect premise to build off of later and the twist at the end with her waltzing right up to Paxton asking him to have sex with her was unexpected even after seeing it through once myself. I think what will always stick with me about this show is how in line and chaotic the choices Devi makes for herself in lieu of PTSD to feel power when feeling in control of nothing. It makes the ending so much more earned.
Feels like a short newsletter but alas, this was a short episode! Also, the dialogue between Devi and Ben is so fucking realistic in terms of that hate-flirting we all knew and loved in our early/late teens. (Just me? Just me? Who knows, I’m mean).