Sorry about that MASSIVE BREAK children. I had a bit of a hectic April but
I’m back, I’m back, I’m back.
I had big plans for the month of April that were absolutely side tracked by quite a few life events. I got the flu, got a nasty cold, finished Until Dawn the video game (bragging), and then had to get ready for my move! That’s right I’m in Wicker Park now! The bougie hipster part of Chicago who tries to INSIST they don’t have as much money as those yuppies in Lincoln Park. In reality, it’s just Lincoln Park wearing a beret. And eating pizza.
Don’t forget, Wicker Park is like totally relatable, too.
My step-grandma on my dad’s side died at the end of April, too and all of it threw me off track on a few things I had planned. I got halfway through a poetry book I will revisit but honestly, thinking about the past and writing about it got hard for me. Taking pen to paper got hard for me. I focused on my own shit for a bit like packing, working, and purchasing every vial of Dayquil at Jewel Osco until I could get my life together and feel pseudo-normal producing fun content again.
Going to get back to my poetry book this weekend (hopefully). On to bigger and better things (pressure’s on, bitch).
We left off on Eastbound and Down, meaning the next letter on the alphabet of pilots to rip through is F. As much as I have the energy to do a full length 40 minute pilot right now, I’d be remise to not start off with the most well known show there is: Friends. The pilot of Friends got 20 million views which, according to this Quora, is not spectacular given it’s 1994 release. Having a ten season run, Friends consists of 236 thirty minute episodes following the lives of six people in their early 20’s: Chandler, Joey, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica.
The show hardly holds up, due to it’s many off color jokes, but the appeal of Friends is a hole one can easily be sucked in to. Idly putting it on while you work, seeing it play in a restaurant, or casually watching re-runs is how most people interact with Friends nowadays and always, the appeal is the feeling of nostalgia that comes with it, of mornings when you’d wake up to the comfort of a family television not having to worry WHAT you want to do with your life. I watched Friends through to the seventh season once in my early adult years and what I loved about having it play in the background while I did other things was a sense of peace I felt blowing through episodes, watching others get through hardships with a large group of people close to them when I felt mine slipping. The jokes, laugh track, and storyline are certainly not what draws me and others to the show. At the heart of it, Friends capitalizes on the warmth, joy, and gratification that comes with having exactly what the title promises
Friends.
Following the iconic opening we all know and love, setting is established and it’s Central Perk, the coffee shop they all love to congregate at. Monica is talking about this new guy she’s going on a date with which she describes as “two people going out to dinner and not having sex.” Montage occurs as next, the friends are sprawled out and Chandler tells a nightmare he has where he’s stark naked in the halls of high school and his mom is calling him through his penis. In walks Ross, who’s going through a breakup with girlfriend Carol, who eventually (nice!) becomes a lesbian (woo!). She left him and Phoebe tries cleansing his aura which is a turning point because maybe if he had LET her do that he wouldn’t have been so fucking annoying for the entire run of Friends. Instead he swats her hand away as Chandler says he wishes he was a lesbian sometimes which, why wouldn’t you? You get to do awesome shit as a lesbian because you have no internalized homophobia.
Like dis:
Ross says he wants to be married again as Rachel walks in the shop from the rain dressed head to toe in a wedding dress, irony at it’s finest. She hugs Monica and says she was looking for her. She’s super excited to see Monica, who she was looking for, and it’s revealed they both went to Lincoln High together. Sitting down in her ginormous wedding dress she details how she was more turned on by a gravy boat than her fiance Barry, who looks like Mr. Potato head. She knows her and Monica drifted apart but she’s asking for her help now despite not inviting her to the wedding.
Bold of her to then USE MONICA’S PHONE having NOT INVITED HER TO THE WEDDING!!!
I would not put up with this but we proceed.
On the phone Rachel is freaking out to her dad about the fact she doesn’t love her fiance. The friends cheer on a telenovela yelling “push her down the stairs!” about some girl who’s pants they hate on the TV and I laugh really hard. They all stop watching TV to listen to Rachel detail her crisis on the phone to her father she will not stop calling “daddy” which is a good character choice to establish her as a spoiled brat. She says “maybe I don’t need your money” on the phone and that she’s just going to “stay here with Monica” which is very entitled behavior from little Ms. Princess Rachel Green. She breathes in to a bag as Phoebe sings to her and Monica tries to calm her down as Joey hits on her. He says him and Chandler live across the hall and she can come over anytime she wants to cuz hey,
Shooters gotta shoot.
Someone buzzes their apartment and it’s revealed to be Paul the Wine Guy, the dude Monica was going to go on a date with. They buzz him in as Ross and Rachel bond over mutually not getting married. He’s sad, obviously, and she’s overwhelmed but they’ve got this in common so why not talk about it, I guess. He says Joey and Chandler are coming over to help Ross put together his new furniture and Rachel declines the invitation since apparently she’s made Monica’s place her own. How do we even know a room is open? This friend you haven’t seen in God knows how long is just going to stay at your place now? Until when? Ya’ll aren’t even that CLOSE! If it were me I would lay down some hard rules with Rachel like “listen you can stay here tonight but after that you gotta find somewhere else” especially if her dad has all that money. Can’t he just house her?
And WHAT is UP with the pole in the middle of their apartment!!!!!
Side bar, figured out what happened to pole for any other Friends conspiracy theorists who didn’t want to look it up. Here’s a quote from Screen Rant.
However, after interfering with production by blocking camera angles and casting strange shadows, the wooden beam was removed as a staple from the Friends set.
Meanwhile, the boys set up furniture Ross’s new apartment and realize this shit is kind of hard which: pussies. You ever set up a standing desk? There’s this whole rod thing you have to install that is so fucking hard but we figured it out because lesbians are greater than men. These three bowling pins would sit for hours trying to figure it out to no avail. They should BE so lucky to exist in the 90’s when standing desks aren’t a thing. Took me three hours on Sunday to figure out.
Ross’s wittle itty bitty knees are hurting despite wearing orthopedic shoes and he plops down amidst building a nightstand (weak). Joey and Chandler are done building the book case as Ross comes out holding a beer that used to be Carol’s favorite. “She always drank it out of the can I should have known” says Ross. I don’t think that’s a lesbian thing, since I drank beer out of a glass last night, but yeah sure go off writing room. In this breakup she got the furniture, stereo, and TV leaving Ross with nothing.
Lesbians rise up.
On her date Monica bonds with Wine Guy Paul over past relationships. Like Ross he was also cheated on and dealt with it by breaking his ex girlfriends watch. You didn’t ask, but I wrote on my exes wall in lipstick that he was a slut when he cheated on me. It’s not breaking a watch but it’s something.
Guess me and Wine Guy Paul are #winning
Back at Monica’s Rachel is making desperate please with Barry about…. ???? How it’s not him it’s her??? Babe, you LEFT him at the altar, what do you expect from this? To be friends? Ross, meanwhile, is freaking out about how maybe you only get one woman in life and then you’re done which Joey rightfully calls out as insane. “This is the best thing that ever happened to you, welcome back to the world,” says Joey as he slaps newly single Ross on the back.
He should take a page out of Monica’s book cause this date is going great.
Monica’s all smiles as Paul says the story of his wife (?) cheating on him is more a fifth date story. Stoked to hear she might make it to a fifth date, she asks more about his last relationship and he says “ever since she left I haven’t been able to perform sexually. Two years, in fact.” She smiles warmly that she’s still up to another date if he wants and we get an assessment of everyone’s situation: Rachel is crying on the couch, Ross is having a full blown meltdown, and we cut between the two new singles setting up the most annoying love story in the history of love stories.
Producers laid it on THICK that they are going to date eventually.
The next morning Rachel serves Joey and Chandler coffee that sucks and Paul leaves Monica’s apartment. Seems he was able to perform as he thanks Monica fifty million times before leaving her with one lingering kiss. Joey, Chandler, and Rachel listen in and move the table back after eavesdropping. Chandler says he’s off to work and Rachel realizes holy shit, people work for a living? Joey and Chandler leave and Rachel and Monica catch up before she goes to work over how good the date was. She’s beaming! She loved it! Meanwhile, Rachel agrees she’s going to get herself a job!
Good fucking luck with THAT resume, sweetie!
At work, Monica is catching up with fellow coworker Frannie and she is all smiles. Frannie can tell instantly she had sex and asks who it is. Monica says it’s Paul the Wine Guy and Frannie says oh boy do I know Paul. Before her, there was no “snap in his turtle for two years.” Music plays as Monica realizes oh shit, she got duped. The gang congregates at Central Perk as Monica complains about how she only attracts dogs and men with emotional issues. This kind of bums me out since it’s just casually glossing over the fact Monica had sex under false pretenses thus, stripping it of anything consensual, but bad people exist outside the world and we didn’t have the language to discuss these things in the 90’s!!!!!! Phoebe offers to rub her feet and she sits on the couch, eager to give in. Joey chuckles like c’mon, that was clearly a line as Rachel comes in giddy despite being laughed at in 12 interviews. She bought expensive boots with a credit card her father pays for and the gang is like ok, time to force her to cut those up.
Gotta learn independence at some point, Rachel! (Couldn’t be me) (I need those credit cards 4 groceries)
Phoebe is like Rachel don’t worry we all grow up at some point for example I moved to the city when I was 14 years old after my dad killed himself and I lived with some albino dude in a limo. Wild story. The Friends cheer her on as she cuts up her credit cards and say “welcome to the real world, it sucks your’e going to love it.” Later that night, Ross is hanging out and Monica heads to bed, leaving him alone with Rachel in the living room. They argue over an Oreo and Ross reveals he had a huge crush on Rachel in high school. She says she just figured he was Monica’s geeky older brother and he asks her out which she answers with an indecisive “yeah, maybe.” He says “maybe I will” as she saunters off to the second bedroom that apparently exists in this apartment. He’s all smiles as he leaves the apartment and says he “just grabbed a spoon” to Monica, indicating he’s ready to get back out there again.
The end credits reveal Rachel has a new job at Central Perk!!! Good for her.
Overall I think I’d give Friends a 8/10. The pilot has a lot of merit in setting up present conflict in enough character’s lives to not be overwhelming while drawing you in on a cliffhanger of the “will-they-won’t-they” between Ross and Rachel. It’s concrete in carving out a peak in to their lives, dynamic, and how they interact, which is moderately entertaining to watch and highly reflective of co-ed friends. The structure of the show is great for those looking to establish six main characters and how to interweave their stories in a concise way. It had high stakes, funny moments, and a lot of promise.
Friends is a divisive show but I think a lot of people return to it for comfort for a reason. It launched the careers of every actor in it and is well known for a reason. It fits less of a niche than Seinfeld did, making it more marketable to wide audiences, and catches slice of life moment between people navigating relatively common situations. The show draws you in for a reason! Feel like my girlfriend and I are going to get sucked back in to this hole given how we just started the second episode.
Next week’s pilot is H so it’s going to have to be HACKS, BABYYYY! Best damn television show there EVER WAS!
C U NEXT TUESDAY.